The Art of motherhood

Being a mother is an art, the most exceptional journey that can happen in a woman's life - a gift that shapes and changes our lives as women and opens the heart in a way that is so profound, and it never closes, ever.

I remember the day I gave birth, its wasn't the most amazing time in my life at all, it was a day seeped in so much fear, darkness and pain and yet the moment I held this being on my chest as she was born, and she suckled from my breast for the first time my heart exploded open and my life was suddenly filled with so many colours and so much light.  I remember that moment and that is a moment in my life that connects me always to the beautiful woman who is my daughter.

My daughter is in China at present and I haven's seen her for over a year, I miss her and yet her fulfilling her dreams and making the most her life, her being happy and fulfilled is more important to me that anything else and this is the absolute knowing of the state and feeling of unconditional love.

As my role of being a mother has developed and grown through the years as my daughter has developed and grown, and by me making as many mistakes and deep errors that have shaped our relationship over the years, I now can be in the space of meditation about this gift that has been bestowed upon me and really honour and bless being a mother.

I haven't only mothered my daughter, I have mothered and nurtured so many and will continue to do that, I am an Earth Mother and have the capacity to give, and hold and love, one of the most extraordinary gifts that I have received.

When I look at the role of being a daughter and the sadness I hold around my relationship with my mother, who died in 1993 and who only in the last few months of her life, was able to find that space of acceptance and love I searched for my whole growing life with her, I get both sad and happy, and am so blessed that we did have the time to find the space of love between us and reconnect the cord of gold that had been severed over the years.  Was I a good daughter, did I fulfil the role of being the very best that I could be, no not at all.  I remember when I had my daughter I made a promise to myself and to her that I would not repeat the same mistakes that my parents had made and be a completely different mother to her than I had been mothered.  I had a wonderful teacher in my mother, and I did change certain aspects of mothering my daughter, but I created a whole lot of other aspects that my daughter is challenged to deal with and work through.  How incredible it is being aware of the lessons and the challenges we hand to our children to shape and mould their lives.

I have felt so open writing these words and honouring my mother, my daughter and myself, for this role of motherhood and of being a mother and a daughter, I am truly grateful.

Om shanti shanti shanti xxxx