I am sad - my heart is open and vulnerable and I am dealing with a loss of a beloved angel friend and her daughter and their friend who died in a car accident last night (19 August) and have left in a very crazy time - death, destruction, dishonesty, fear, loss, and so many questions. When I heard of this accident and the loss the shock was immense, its unbelievable that 3 beautiful souls from our community could just go, like that, gone ! I am feeling shattered and absolutely devastated at this loss and confused and at the same time it feels okay, that they are free, flying free from their physical attachments, there are many souls that were there to meet them and its fascinating at how random death is. Last week I witnessed a fire dancer that I have worked with for more than 10 years, who is professional and a dear friend, catch on fire in a moment when I was feeling so happy, connected and in a space of absolute bliss drumming and feeling as one, the image is still behind my closed eyes of his head burning, he survived and is healing, another random act.
The vulnerability and fragility of life, of us all. So whats is all really about this thing we call life ? I wonder how many blog posts have been written about this - what is it all really about ?
I started writing this post on the 20th August .......... its the 30th today, 10 days later and tomorrow is the memorial service for these beloved goddesses and I am still in a place of such deep sadness and profound loss. Usually I can find some spiritual understanding and depth about life and death and what happens between, and with this loss, there are many truths that I am being shown and am understanding, but still there is a sense of surreal-ness and unbelievability about this. And the question I have been asking myself every morning as I wake up and before I go to sleep at night, is why ? why them and why all 3 and why like that and why, why, why .......... and that is a rhetorical question for sure as there is no answer ....... just a space of an in breath and an out breath and then no breath, and how is not relative either or when, its random.
So we live, now, we breathe, we experience joy, we experience sorrow, life happens and there are no guarantees, there is no norm, and with each in breath and out breath there is our life experience.
I am going to Israel on Monday the 2nd to meet with my beloved daughter, Nicole, whom I have not seen since March 2011. This is our first trip to the holy land. Meeting her now has become the most important and necessary thing for us to do. And in the midst of the turmoil and threats of war and destruction, this present experience of being in the now, of living life, of taking the risks as there are no guarantees comes up and again I feel pressed to put into practice the mightiness of the words I speak.
I received an email from a friend I met whilst travelling last year, warning me against going to Israel at this time. In the space of numbness and grief that I am experiencing right now it was such a fascinating email to get, and I appreciated so much her love and care for my wellbeing. I wrote back to her explaining that there is life and there is death and in between there is breath, choosing to live the amazing joy filled beautiful life possible and that I am choosing to focus on the love, the peace, the light and the joy. And it is within that awareness that I find the answer to the question Why ? - Why Not !
To beloved Ursula, Gali and Kesia - your light, your beauty, your purity are a gift to all that knew and loved you. Your presence brought joy and magnificence to your families, loved ones, our community and tribe and to the world. My life has been so enriched and I am honoured to have been able to love you, to share amazing times with you and to call you my beloved friends. Thank you for touching my life and for the joy that you brought to me. Thank you for gracing my path and sharing this journey with me. I love you beloved ones, until we meet again, Shalom - Om shanti shanti shanti xxx
The vulnerability and fragility of life, of us all. So whats is all really about this thing we call life ? I wonder how many blog posts have been written about this - what is it all really about ?
I started writing this post on the 20th August .......... its the 30th today, 10 days later and tomorrow is the memorial service for these beloved goddesses and I am still in a place of such deep sadness and profound loss. Usually I can find some spiritual understanding and depth about life and death and what happens between, and with this loss, there are many truths that I am being shown and am understanding, but still there is a sense of surreal-ness and unbelievability about this. And the question I have been asking myself every morning as I wake up and before I go to sleep at night, is why ? why them and why all 3 and why like that and why, why, why .......... and that is a rhetorical question for sure as there is no answer ....... just a space of an in breath and an out breath and then no breath, and how is not relative either or when, its random.
So we live, now, we breathe, we experience joy, we experience sorrow, life happens and there are no guarantees, there is no norm, and with each in breath and out breath there is our life experience.
I am going to Israel on Monday the 2nd to meet with my beloved daughter, Nicole, whom I have not seen since March 2011. This is our first trip to the holy land. Meeting her now has become the most important and necessary thing for us to do. And in the midst of the turmoil and threats of war and destruction, this present experience of being in the now, of living life, of taking the risks as there are no guarantees comes up and again I feel pressed to put into practice the mightiness of the words I speak.
I received an email from a friend I met whilst travelling last year, warning me against going to Israel at this time. In the space of numbness and grief that I am experiencing right now it was such a fascinating email to get, and I appreciated so much her love and care for my wellbeing. I wrote back to her explaining that there is life and there is death and in between there is breath, choosing to live the amazing joy filled beautiful life possible and that I am choosing to focus on the love, the peace, the light and the joy. And it is within that awareness that I find the answer to the question Why ? - Why Not !
To beloved Ursula, Gali and Kesia - your light, your beauty, your purity are a gift to all that knew and loved you. Your presence brought joy and magnificence to your families, loved ones, our community and tribe and to the world. My life has been so enriched and I am honoured to have been able to love you, to share amazing times with you and to call you my beloved friends. Thank you for touching my life and for the joy that you brought to me. Thank you for gracing my path and sharing this journey with me. I love you beloved ones, until we meet again, Shalom - Om shanti shanti shanti xxx
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